


Now You Know (Even If He Doesn't)

by ohrightwelldone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Birthday Party, Gen, Levi hates parties but hates himself more, M/M, Pining, The Veterans Embark on Fraiser-Inspired Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26905003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohrightwelldone/pseuds/ohrightwelldone
Summary: After the night of Levi’s surprise birthday party ends in disaster, he and Nanaba start from the beginning to try to understand just where everything went wrong.
Relationships: Levi & Nanaba (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	Now You Know (Even If He Doesn't)

**Author's Note:**

> I miss SNK so much that I took this old fic and fixed it up to share. I used a Fraiser plot to practice these characters, so it's a rough go, but it definitely helped me find these voices again. So take it for it is!
> 
> (Also I just wanted to integrate Nanaba in the veteran-dynamic more since she's so often overlooked.)

“Getting started already?”

Levi glanced up to see Nanaba leaning against the doorway. “If you can call this ‘getting started’.”

“Well, if this is it, you got off pretty light.” Nanaba walked across the kitchen and propped herself up on the counter beside him. A lax mop rested between his knees. Levi Ackerman: the Survey Corps’ new Ration Guard and Kitchen Janitor for a month.

Levi gave the mop a half-hearted kick, his frown deepening. “It was probably Erwin’s intervention. I have to write an apology letter anyway.”

“And when will you start that?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Ah.”

A silence settled. It was something he appreciated about Nanaba: she never used words more than she needed to. The few times they were alone together, it was always quiet. Never empty or awkward, but quiet. It was a refreshing change from Hange’s boundless energy, Erwin’s constant stream of thoughts, and Mike’s unending fidgeting.

“So.”

“So.”

Nanaba stared at him from the corner of her eye. “What happened?”

“You know what happened.”

“That wasn’t like you.”

Levi made no reply.

“Even if you have a temper, you would never do something that would put the image of the Survey Corps in jeopardy – you know how hard it makes it on Erwin.”

Shit, Levi hadn’t even thought about that. The rumours would be flying by dawn. Levi groaned, this was not what they needed right now, and it was certainly not what Erwin needed.

“I don’t know what happened,” Levi finally answered. “I don’t – it just did. I was just pissed off and he was getting in my face.”

“Why?”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to settle the anger in his throat. The more he tried to make sense of it, the more the whole situation seemed completely stupid – the more he seemed stupid.  
Nanaba wiggled beside him, and he could tell she was getting herself comfortable.

“Start from the beginning.”

“…Fine.” Levi sat up, and began detailing what occurred only the day before.

.....

“Close the door.”

Levi quirked an eyebrow, but followed Erwin’s request nonetheless. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s happened?”

“It’s nothing like that. There’s something I’ve noticed about your squad selections,” Erwin suddenly paused, shifting papers into one hand and finally meeting Levi’s gaze, “but it may not be best to go into detail here.”

Levi opened his mouth to object, but closed it just as quick. “And where should we do this?”

“I was thinking we could discuss it at my residence. I would like to keep this private, if possible.”

  
Levi knew he was referring to the small, one-storey building Erwin had been given nearby – one of the few perks of being Commander. He had only stepped inside it a handful of times. The furnishings were bare, caked with a layer of dust that Levi itched to clean. Erwin’s office was more of a home than that place had ever been however, so Levi never bothered to return with a broom in hand.  
Levi had a thousand questions, but only said, “Fine. What time?”

.....

  
  
As night fell so did the temperature, and Levi took refuge in being seated near the fire. Erwin’s eyes seemed distracted, and Levi wondered if he would be more at ease behind his desk rather than in some ghost of a domestic life.  
“Wait here. There’s something I want to show you.” With that, Erwin turned and went down the hallway out of sight.

  
Levi only had a few moments of silence before a chorus broke out into cheers of “Surprise!” Hands grabbed his shoulders that he shook off, jumping from the couch only to see a small crowd of people pouring from the hall with Erwin standing in front. Every face was recognizable: Hange, Moblit, Mike, Nanaba, his newly formed elite squad, Nile –

  
_Nile?_

  
“We know it’s a week early, but we wanted to do something special,” Hange said, their grin stretching so wide it threatened to tear their face in two.

Right, his birthday was coming up. And Christmas. This was big.

“Well, you sure as hell got me.”

“Don’t pretend,” Erwin countered. “You saw through me instantly. You always do.”

“No, really. You had me completely fooled.”

Mike broke through the crowd and held up two gleaming bottles. “Two bottles for two occasions,” was all he said for the crowd to erupt into cheering and clapping, making Levi’s ears ring. Erd stepped forward and took one bottle from Mike, turning to Levi and saying, “Here, since it’s your birthday bringing us together, you should have the first drink.”

Now the spotlight was on him again. Damn it. Trying hard not to grimace, Levi accepted the bottle and with a few twists, let the cork fly. More cheering ensued, and then it rose to near deafening-levels when Levi took a swig directly from the neck.

People soon began to weave into groups and couples as the night wore on, the constant chatter becoming a lively hum. Levi didn’t have the chance to really move; as soon as a few people stopped talking to him and moved on, another wave came over. He felt shitty for being out of it, especially since occasions like this were extremely rare. When was the last time he had a drink with these people?

When was the last time everyone, even Erwin, allowed themselves to enjoy being alive?

.....

  
“Yeah, you did look like you were choking down piss the whole night.”

“Fuck off.” It was a pathetic response, but Levi was already talking enough, he didn’t have to be clever.

“I’m surprised Nile stayed as long as he did,” Nanaba mused, a small but smug smile on her face.

“Don’t remind me. Fuckin’ Nile.”

.....

There were many reasons why Levi Ackerman disliked Nile Dok. He had a chin beard that looked like coop-wire. His eyes were beady and too close together. He seemed content with how things were and Levi thought that was sad and pathetic. From what he knew, Nile had a lovely wife and adorable children that Erwin admired earnestly, and even if it was childish and baseless, Levi thought Nile flaunted his lifestyle every opportunity he got. It also didn’t help that Nile was an MP, which in Levi’s eyes equated him to pig shit.

In short, Levi’s dislike was entirely unfounded.

“Why is Nile here?”

Erwin sighed. His fingers began to drum along his glass, something that Levi learned within months of joining the Survey Corps meant that Erwin was choosing his words carefully. It was almost comical to see Erwin wedged into a corner, blocked by a wall, a cupboard, and the ever-short Captain Levi. For once, the hulking blonde looked small – bashful, even. “He wasn’t supposed to be originally. It wouldn’t make much sense to throw a surprise party for you and invite Nile as a special guest.”

“Then why?”

“He had papers I needed to sign off, but you were coming any minute, so we shuffled him into the hallway. And now,” Erwin gave a vague wave around the room, “he’s just mingling.”

“Hm.”

“Is that alright?”

“I’ll let it slip this time,” Levi said, trying his hardest to act normal and enjoy the party by relying on his sarcasm, “but only because you all went through enough trouble.”

“So considerate,” Erwin snarked back, though there was no edge to it.

An inebriated Petra and Gunther hauled Levi away before he could retaliate. Levi could barely understand them, but their sincere attempts at not slurring their words were endearing, so he tried to be patient.

Then it happened.

A shoulder knocked Levi straight into Gunther’s chest, and the sound of liquid splashing against the hardwood broke through the noise.

“Watch it,” Levi snapped, quickly recovering his balance.

“Captain Levi? Are you okay?”

Petra’s voice was lost on Levi as he stared down at his jacket. A blotch of crimson etched itself into the white fabric, and he could feel his black dress shirt grow sticky and heavy. He spun around to find Nile standing behind him. “Nile, you idiot. Look at my suit!”

Nile’s face was as red as the wine. “Wait, you think I - ? I didn’t – “

“Forget it,” Levi barked. “I’m gonna go wash this out.”

Erwin stepped in front of him. “Levi, it’s fine. Let it rinse in the sink.”

“I need to put some product on it if I don’t want to let it set in,” Levi argued, trying to maneuver around him.

Erwin blocked him again, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.

Levi glanced around the room and saw Mike and Hange among others staring at him. “I’ll only be a few minutes, you don’t have to piss yourselves.” With that, he stepped around Erwin and headed out the door.  
  


.....

“This was my first time wearing that suit, and then Gangly Legs throws his drink all over it – “

Nanaba cut him off by simply raising her finger. “Yeah, that wasn’t Nile.”

“What?”

Nanaba said nothing.

“Then who?”

Still nothing. Then the corner of her mouth twitched.

“You’re shittin’ me, it was you?”

“To be fair, Moblit was goddamned pickled and he stumbled into me, and in my panic, I may have made the mistake of putting my weight against Nile.”

Levi thought for a moment. “Let’s blame Moblit.”

“That wasn’t my point!”

“That suit’s important, and I’m going to have someone to blame for it getting ruined.” Levi paused before adding, “Besides, when Moblit’s drunk he gets sloppy anyway, this will be a good lesson.”

Nanaba sat still, contemplating, and then nodded with firm resolution. “Fine, we’ll let my part in this get erased from history.”

“But I’ll always remember.”

“Get on with the story, old man, before your memory goes.”  
  


.....

The communal laundry was an area Levi loathed to near. Water and dirt lingered on the floor, and every corner smelled of mildew. It was closer than his room however, and he felt bad enough for walking out on his own party. The longer he was gone, the more uncomfortable it would be to return – there was no escaping the attention now.

Wiping down a basin, Levi filled it with warm water and soap. He shrugged off his jacket and removed his black shirt, setting it in the water. After giving it a scrub, he hung it on the edge of the basin, using the remaining water and soap to scrub at his jacket. After attacking the offending stain with bleach, Levi draped it on the opposing edge of the basin.

Levi caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and gave a dreadful sigh. He looked ridiculous with his black dress pants and threadbare undershirt, but Levi pleaded for the perfectionist in him to let it go so he could return to the party already. It was bad enough that he wasn’t emptying the basin or hanging the wet clothes in his room, but there wasn’t enough time. He could grab them once the stupid party was over.

As soon as he exited the laundry however, he was noticed.

“Captain!”

 _“What?”_ Levi said, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

“I know it’s late, sir, but a messenger just dropped off this package for the commander. He said there’s been a delay in the mail route and this should have been in the commander’s hands this afternoon. I’ve been trying to find him but there’s no response at his office or room.”

Levi snatched the package away from her. Another problem for Erwin to address. Not only was the delivery incredibly sloppy (who gives a confidential package to a random recruit at night and expect it to be fine?) but he had little doubt that this concerned the recent budget cuts, and from the heft of it, it seemed like many wanted to get their word in.

“Yeah, thanks. Get to the bunks.”

“Sir!”

With little choice, Levi made his way over to Erwin’s office, entering with his own key and leaving it on his desk.

Alright, that’s enough. Levi cut through the laundry, trying to keep the route back as short as possible. He knew he shouldn’t glance at his laundry. He knew he should continue moving. And yet.

He looked. And then he seethed.

Levi’s basin sat in a puddle of water, obviously knocked over but sloppily put back in place. His jacket floated in the murky leftover water, new dirt clinging to what was surfacing. But it was his shirt, his black silk shirt that hung from the side of the basin that made him livid. As he held it in his hands, a bright white spot leered at him.

Levi hadn’t tightened the cap on the bleach enough. And then it got knocked over, and so did his shirt.

His suit was ruined.

His knuckles were almost as white as the bleach from clenching the shirt so hard. His eyes began to burn, and Levi couldn’t fucking believe how emotional he was getting.  
His eyes shot up when someone entered. Levi vaguely recognized him, a younger squad leader that kept his distance from Levi, not that Levi really minded.

“Oh,” was all the guy said, before doing a salute. Then he noticed the shirt. “Oh, yeah, sorry about that.”

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, I knocked it over when I was doing my stuff.”

Levi’s jaw quivered as his teeth ground together. “It’s ruined.”

“Huh?” The guy wasn’t even looking at him as he shoved his hand through some baskets, as if searching for something.

“It’s. Ruined.” Levi hissed. “You got shit in your ears?”

The squad leader finally turned around, narrowing his eyes. “It’s just a suit, Captain.”

Levi could only gawk as the bastard left. Every muscle in his body screamed for bloody murder.

“It’s not just a suit,” he said aloud to the empty room.

Before he knew what he was doing, Levi dropped the shirt to the ground, following where the guy had headed. There he found him, leaning in a doorway, talking to some others.

“Everyone lets him do what he wants just ‘cause he’s got some hacked-up title and he’s the Commander’s pet project, but I swear, he looked ready to sob over a stain on his fancy shirt. He’s crying over that while the rest of us eat shi-”

Levi’s knuckles throbbed as soon as they met the man’s jaw.  
  


.....

Everything after was a blur. Levi was sure he got in a second punch, but then at some point the guy’s friends intervened. It also seemed that the party had opted to track him down and had managed to witness the incident: Nanaba, Mike…

…Erwin.

Being held back like some feral animal, Levi was guided to Erwin’s office, who said very little and maintained strained eye-contact. Erwin didn’t even seem angry. If anything, he appeared disappointed.

Levi felt thoroughly humiliated.

Erwin talked with the squad leader separately before allowing Levi to enter. There, they settled Levi’s punishment – ration guard and kitchen duty – and agreed that a formal letter of apology given in a public area would suffice. It was extremely lenient, but the message was clear: all of this was below what a Captain should be doing, just as Levi’s actions were below him.

As they walked down the hallway after being excused, Levi glanced up at the squad leader he assaulted. His cheekbone was already swelling. Levi said nothing, but noted that the squad leader (or Daniel, as he now knew) seemed just as embarrassed as Levi.

It was near 1 o'clock, and Levi knew he wouldn’t sleep. He headed to the kitchen and relieved the guard, taking her spot on the counter.

.....

  
Levi looked up at the clock. It was nearly 2:30am.

“There,” he said more to his boots than to his companion. He thought of his suit still lying in the laundry room, soaked in dirt and bleach. His stomach knotted. “Satisfied?”

When Nanaba didn’t respond, he glanced over to see her eyes cast downwards beneath her bangs. “It still doesn’t add up.”

“You know my history right? Somebody did fill you in?”

She didn’t seem impressed. Her expression tightened in thought. “You keeping mentioning the suit. Does the suit have a story?”

“It’s the one Erwin bought for me last year, remember? I haven’t worn it because I didn’t want exactly this to happen.”

“So you knew about the surprise party?”

“No.”

Nanaba parted her lips then stopped, as if carefully crafting her next words together. She turned to Levi, and her eyes were gentle, and her voice fell softly. “Then why were you wearing it?”

Levi scoffed. “Because…” Now that he thought about it, why had he wore that suit? All Erwin had said –

He froze, the realization soaking him like ice water.

.....

  
_“We can discuss this further at my residence. I would like to keep this private, if possible.”_

And Levi had stood outside Erwin’s door, feeling strangely warm despite the chill settling against his skin. He gave a few tugs to his collar, making sure it rested flat and even.  
The door opened and soft light poured out around Erwin’s frame. His eyes rested on Levi for what felt like minutes before he stood aside to let him through. “You’re wearing it.”

Levi stood uncomfortably straight. “You paid for it. Money well spent?”

“Yes,” Erwin answered, almost breathlessly, and Levi felt his own catch in his throat. “You look…it fits you perfectly.”

What do you say when someone says something like that, or when someone looks at you like that? Levi forced himself to not look away.

Then Erwin’s lips quivered upwards. “It truly _suits_ you, Captain.”

“Really?” Levi gave Erwin’s shoulder a shove and moved inside. He could practically feel the satisfaction pouring off the commander. So, this was who he devoted himself to. Levi was well and truly fucked. “You’re a bastard for taking that opportunity, you know that?”

Levi spun on his heel, stuffing his hands into his pockets in a desperate attempt to hold on to any lingering sense of casualness. Erwin gently closed the door behind him, resting against the frame. His eyes fell onto Levi again, and Levi wondered if he had ever seen Erwin look so content. But the sudden silence quickly grew stifling.

“You know why I really asked you here, don’t you?” Erwin asked.

Levi forced his hands to unclench. “If it was something so important and confidential, like hell you would choose this place to talk.”

A thick eyebrow quirked. “How so?”

“For something as minor as squad selections, you would’ve had no issue with discussing that in your office. If something important had come from such a small matter, it’d most likely have to do with security, and if that was the case, you wouldn’t have to tell me on my own. You’d liaison with the rest of the higher ups, and probably the Garrison or MP for good measure, because you would just ‘have to make sure’.”

Levi crossed his arms against his chest, signalling to Erwin that he had lost this discussion before he could even really join it. Erwin’s eyes widened, so slightly that few would probably even notice it, and then they crinkled with a soft chuckle. Something lingered there in Erwin’s expression, something Levi couldn’t name, but whatever it was, he felt it run down his spine.

“I should’ve known you would see through that,” Erwin said, almost whispered, and his blue eyes gleamed in the low light. Levi resisted the smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

“Like it’s that much of a shock. I practically know your bowel movements by now.”

Now Erwin barked out gut-deep laughter. Levi’s shit jokes never failed to get a response out of Erwin, even in his lowest moods, and it always made Levi feel strangely proud.

“Wait here,” Erwin gestured to the couch, “there’s something I want to show you.”

As soon as Erwin left, Levi released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He lifted his hand only to see it quiver. He rested it on his knee, ignoring the sweat that started to stick against his palm. Taking a quick glance around the room, Levi noted how clean it was, how much more lived-in the house felt. Someone had went through the effort to do all of this – just for tonight?

Levi let his smile break through. This is happening, he thought, glancing at the scattered candles casting soft shadows that danced around the room. As soon as he sits down, tell him that you want –

“Surprise!”

Levi’s heart stopped. Hands grabbed his shoulders and rattled him back and forth. Levi thought his knees were going to give out as he leapt from the couch and turned to see Erwin surrounded by faces and smiles and cheers.

“Happy birthday!”

“We know it’s a week early, but we wanted to do something special.”

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Why wouldn’t they stop shaking?

“Well,” Levi said, his voice sounding so, so distant, “you sure as hell got me.”

“Don’t pretend,” Erwin said, the same damn softness in his ever-blue eyes. “You saw through my lie instantly. You always do.”

“No, really.” Levi’s heart began to beat again, but with each second it felt heavier. His gaze only held Erwin’s. “You had me completely fooled.”


End file.
